


I'm Trying Not To Make A Sound

by firelion



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angry Harry, Barebacking, Bottom Louis, Emotional Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Grinding, Internalized Homophobia, Intimacy, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles, Smut, Subspace, Top Harry, Wall Sex, he also only has a cameo, there's mouth fingering but there's not a tag for that, they make it to a bed at some point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:17:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3096239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelion/pseuds/firelion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, wow, this feels incredible. </p><p> </p><p>or basically,<br/>"I am in fact straight."<br/>"Don't knock it till you try it."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Trying Not To Make A Sound

**Author's Note:**

> to krissy who I made a promise to on january 1st 2014 that I would write a fic before 2015 came and seeing how much I procrastinate here it is on january 2nd 2015
> 
> don't let the 10k fool you this is 50% emotional sex and yes I know that the interview was recorded before louis tweeted those tweets
> 
> I feel the need to write the I DO NOT OWN ANYONE just in case
> 
> [song lyric title who probably has nothing to with the story comes from Falling by HAIM]

An exasperated sigh flees Louis’ nostrils in boiling frustration. He’s eyeing the title of an article on his glowing phone screen. He hasn’t read the article yet, but he doesn’t really want to, judging by what he can see on his phone screen. The pixels form the words _‘Louis Tomlinson supports gay Apple CEO Tim Cook - days after Harry Styles' comments on gender and sexuality’_ followed by a picture of him wearing a t-shirt with the original apple logo, which happens to be a rainbow.

He’s had enough with speculations on his sexuality. Don’t get him wrong, he’s not the only one in the band who’s targeted with these rumours. Harry gets a large share of them too, if you simply take a quick look back and reread the previously mentioned title of the current article of discussion. It also happens that nearly every single article about either of them being anything but straight involves both of them, as in being in a relationship with each other.

Louis decides not to read the article. It’ll probably, definitely, mention more speculations on his sexuality and on top of that add Harry’s comments. It’s bound to end in the same place just like every single sexuality article involving both of them ends.

His thumb taps onto the dark grey ‘X’ at the top left of his screen to return to the twitter app he was on prior to viewing the article. He feels a boost of anger and uncertainty course through him. His unexplained anger wins. He should definitely stop what he is doing right now; it’s not a good idea. But he follows through anyways. He’s on the author’s twitter profile when he taps his screen again to type out a tweet to whoever this girl may be. The more he thinks about what he’s doing, the angrier he is and the less he’s feeling sympathetic.

There goes one tweet. He can’t leave it like that; he finished off in the middle of an explanation and a quite lousy statement. ‘I am in fact straight.’ So there waits the second half of Louis’ rant on the ‘New Tweet’ screen. He closes his eyes as he clicks ‘Tweet’. He takes a long exhale feeling the regret already. It was a little harsh to have told this girl this situation was laughable and the article was rubbish. He hadn’t even read the article! Something is going to end up wrong, he can just feel it.

It’s too late to do anything about it now. Everyone’s going to have screenshotted it and sooner or later everyone will be speculating about his tweets even if they are no longer on his twitter page. Louis’ shaky hand rubs over his tired face as he locks his phone with the other hand.

+++

The five lads are sitting on a couch, which’s big enough for all of them for once, waiting to start their next interview. They’ve been sitting in the same spots for a few hours now, only getting up to go to the washroom or have a snack. Niall and Liam are practically leaning right over Louis to talk to Zayn while Louis’ mind is completely somewhere else at that moment. His arms are crossed and his lips are pursed, like he’s just gotten forced to drink lemon juice straight from a freshly squeezed lemon. It’s a terrible comparison, but at least it expresses how he’s feeling. Terrible.

Harry is also staying quiet alone on the other end of the couch. He’s usually one to integrate himself in other people’s chat groups when he’s found alone. Now though, he’s busy observing Louis who seems to be deep in thought over something not quite pleasing. Harry thinks for a second Louis might be frozen. Louis slowly blinks his grayish blue eyes confirming that he is in fact not frozen. Harry makes a mental note to ask him later if he’s ok, because, well, he’s Harry. It’s his job as the mother of the band.

The conversation is broken and the five parties are told to be silent and stay in their spots. Louis doesn’t pick up on any of that until he jumps at the loud scream of the word ‘Action!’ to signalize the next interview is starting. He didn’t even know when this guy sitting on the chair had come into the room, but there he is speaking his intro and thanking the five of them for having him there to which the boys thank him for having them.

+++

The interview escalated quickly enough to say the least. Only a mere twenty seconds later, they’re discussing who Niall’s sleeping with. It’s actually quite a rude question to ask, Louis suspects he didn’t include that question when he handed over his papers to their publicist that listed all the questions he’d be asking. Anyhow, all of the boys and the interviewer included are shooting out random famous women’s names just for the hell of it.

“We need to do a sports person,” Liam adds. “Serena Williams.”

Niall leans over Liam’s shoulder to tell him, “Do Rihanna!” to which he receives a couple laughs.

Louis thinks over his input while Liam and Niall continue answering the question. Louis only gets out a couple words, to which the first ones resemble ‘I don’t know’ while the rest of the sentence trails off and remains inaudible to everyone one. After a few giggles from around the sofa Louis finished his insightful string of thought with, “We’ll get back to you on that, who Niall’s sleeping with.”

“I think we need to go outside the box,” Liam exclaims not even a second after Louis concludes what he was saying.

The interviewer is quick to suggest, “A man?” to which Louis’ mind instantly fogs.

He thinks back to that evening a few days ago when he tweeted those 2 tweets. You see Louis doesn’t have any problems with that topic when it comes to someone else. He does have a problem with that topic when it involves himself. He’d love to say the problem is solely because of all the talk that’s always being done about him being other things than straight, but it’s not. Those talks just further push Louis’ mind to think about it. It always ends up with angry tears over how the media is stupid and lots of useless denial.

Louis tunes back to the interview and he hears Niall mumbling about how him sleeping with a man is not probable. He missed half of what Niall was saying, he’s not sure if they’re still on that question anymore. What he doesn’t miss though is Harry saying, “Don’t knock it till you try it!” and resting his hand on Niall’s leg for just a millisecond. So they’re still on that topic then.

It sounds like a promise, a reassuring one. The tone Harry said it in just translates to, “you won’t regret it,” in his mind. That’s only a detail though, because Louis does know it is impossible for him to ever get with a guy. He does not need to go anywhere near another man’s body like _that_ to know it.

+++

The interview goes on as normal for the remaining 5 minutes. That is, as normal as a One Direction questioning gets. Thankfully after this interview has finished they’re awarded a 15 minute break to have some food and shake off their numbed limbs. Louis really, really has to pee.

Just to make everything even better, there’s a massive line for the bathroom. Louis has just arrived to queue in line and immediately starts tapping his foot in annoyance. He rotates at a 90 degree angle and leans his back against the wall so he’s facing the opposing wall of the short and narrow unlit hall. The lack of patience he has is unreal, he thinks. Harry joins the line and stands properly with his hands clasped behind his back and his feet aligned with his shoulders. He focuses on something in front of him and all he’s missing is a soldier’s outfit and he’d pass for one. Thinking of patience and Harry, Louis looks at the said man from the corner of his eye and recalls all those obnoxiously obvious times where he’s lost his patience at the other boys having a go with Harry. Jealousy can be attractive or obsessive. Louis thinks he was unlucky to have more of the obsessive kind of jealousy.

Louis doesn’t think too long, he’s more distracted by how long it takes him to trail his eyes from Harry’s boots all the way up to his bouncy, long hair that he can’t help imagining a small hand carding through the strands and fisting it between the fingers and tugging on it making Harry release a drawn out moan, his eyes drawing shut, eyebrows knitting together and a pink, plump bottom lip catching between his teeth. The same sinful glossed lips part slightly to take in the leng–

A sharp, good feeling passes through Louis’ whole body and feels especially great down by the groin area. His sight shoots back in front of him, at the darkened wall standing a metre away from him. His whole body feels overheated and he’s definitely breathing too hard to go unnoticed and he doesn’t have the time to have a guilty wank in the bathroom when he finally gets to go. He only has to wait for a security guard to finish up with the washroom and it’s his turn. He rushes in and closes the door probably too hard to go unnoticed once again. The first thing he does when he’s sure the door is locked is twist the right knob on the faucet labeled with a blue circle indicating it’s the cold water. He curls his hands around the border of the sink waiting for the water to be as cold as possible. Meanwhile, he thinks to himself, “Get your shit together, recompose yourself, you’re _straight_!”

Louis takes a large deep breath and cups his hands underneath the pouring faucet. The water hits his sweaty hands like bolts of lightning, he twitches at the feeling. The water pools in his hands quickly enough. Counting to three, Louis touches his face into his hands and presses the water into his face in the attempts to cool it down.

It’s a good thing he has his hands pressed to his face, because someone knocks lightly on the door a moment later, startling Louis. He gets surprised so easily, he almost bit off part of his hand.

“2 minutes left, Lou.”

Oh right, shit. Harry’s still standing outside the door. He was the only one in line after Louis and everyone else was back on set getting ready to start over again. If he yells into his palms, no one has to know.

Louis quickly finishes his whole ritual and other business he needed to take care of, hence the reason why he came to the bathroom. He steps out feeling much more relaxed and thinks he might even be able to look at Harry without having a breakdown. When he goes to sidestep Harry, he’s stopped with a large hand on his shoulder. The action surprises him and he jumps up a little, he’s gotta stop doing that.

“Hey are you okay?”

Of course, Harry notices there’s something off with him. Now is really not the time for Harry to be all cute and motherly and verify if he’s feeling poor. Louis feels like pouting and yelling at him that yes, he is, and that it’s also entirely _his_ fault. He doesn’t do that though. He’s been rude enough lately. He tells Harry’s he’s just a little tired. Surely that has to fool Harry. At least it’s believable too considering they’ve been doing interview after interview all damned day.

The only person who’s fooled is Louis. He’s sure that Harry doesn’t suspect a thing. Harry doesn’t suspect anything he _knows_ there’s something.

+++

They’re finally nearing the end of the day and Louis couldn’t be happier. Harry keeps looking back at Louis ever so often. Louis doesn’t appreciate that since it’s interfering with his own longing stares towards the wild-haired one. He’s not _staring_ he just needs to know Harry doesn’t think anything is wrong with him so he doesn’t try to come forward with it again. If his plan fails, then Louis has absolutely nothing to back himself up with and has to find a way to run away as quickly and efficiently as possible.

They finish their last interview and the cameramen immediately start packing up their gear. Louis could go for a cigarette right now, but he’s not allowed to leave the building yet which is fucking stupid. Harry goes around thanking everyone who’s also been here all day and some have been here since before the boys arrived. Louis can’t stand looking at him anymore; he tries to convince Zayn or Liam to sneak out of the building to smoke one with him, so if he’s caught he’s not the only one in trouble.

Eventually the boys are called down to get into their respective Range Rovers to be driven to the small chain hotel they’re staying at for the evening. “It’s more convenient. You’re coming back tomorrow anyways,” they said. “That’s fucking bullshit,” Louis thought. Louis figures he’ll just have to wait a little longer to take on a few puffs. In one car, Niall, Harry and Liam climb in leaving Zayn and Louis to take the other. Louis sighs in relief. He doesn’t think he’d be able to take sharing a car with Harry right now. It’s too risky.

The drive to the hotel couldn’t have been longer. As soon as Louis steps out of the vehicle he’s got a puffer between his lips and a lighter casting a flame against the end of the tobacco shaft. He’s got to stay within a 30 metre radius from the hotel, which means he has to smoke while standing in the parking lot looking like an idiot. Why does all the bullshit seem to fall on him today? What has he done to deserve this? He huffs out a puff of smoke in frustration for probably the hundredth time today, no kidding. The sun is hidden behind the buildings of the city of London and the air starts to chill. He starts smoking quicker in the hopes of not choking.

Once he finishes he gets his room card out and inspects it looking for his room number. He hops into the elevator thankful as hell that there isn’t going to be anyone joining him into the elevator. He reaches his floor without having to stop for anyone, which makes him very content. The doors open letting the setting wash over him. There’s an eerie silence on the floor, until he remembers hotels are supposed to be like that.

He unlocks his door and closes it behind him along with the rest of the world and his problems. He can finally strip down until there’s only a thin layer of clothing on him. There is no way he’s letting his body make direct contact with the hotel bed sheets. He contemplates skipping brushing his teeth and just jumping straight on the bed and curling up in a ball and praying he’ll falls asleep quickly.

He ends up brushing his teeth. He already feels guilty of too many things, no need to add anything to the list. He washes his hands for good measure and looks up at himself in the small mirror. He looks absolutely knackered. It may only be 9pm, but god Louis was more than ready to go to sleep and forget this day every happened. That’s going to be pretty hard though, since there are maybe 20 videos that were taken of him on this exact day. He makes a face at himself and slides his socked feet across the tile floor of the bathroom to drag along the rug floor the rest of the room is covered in. He slides all the way to the door to seal the double lock and he’s about to succeed when a knock on his door gives him a heart attack. He _really_ has to stop reacting like that.

Louis runs over the options in his head of who might need to personally come over to his room at this time. He figures it’s probably Liam asking him if he’s still up to go for a smoke. It couldn’t be Zayn, he already knew Louis had gotten that chore out of the way. He’s not sure why Niall or a member of their team would be knocking on his door, so that leaves two options. Neither of them is what Louis wants right now. On one hand, it could be a complete stranger he does not feel like dealing with who’s knocking on the wrong door, and on the other, it could be Harry.

Whoever it is, they knock again making Louis jump in surprise again and snap out of his thoughts. This happens so often to him, yet he still can’t help getting startled every time it happens. Just to be safe Louis gets onto his toes and balances himself with both hands on the door. He lines up his right eye with the peep hole on his door and squeezes his left eye shut to focus on the person standing on the other side.

Just as bad as he predicted, he’s standing there with his hands clasped behind his back, feet aligned with his wide, muscular shoulders. He’s looking down waiting for the door to open, making his hair look a bit like a waterfall. Louis tries not to think about how Harry’s probably looking down at those adorable pigeon feet as he reaches for the dongle to unlock to door and swings it open.

Harry's still wearing the same outfit: black skinny that’re so tight they seem painted on, along with the floral maroon dress shirt only halfway buttoned up. He's an asshole, really, because Louis' standing there taking in his outfit with his eyes bulging out of his head. Louis himself is still holding onto the door with one hand while the other limps to his side. He feels a little inferior, considering his old, thinned out white t-shirt and Spiderman pajama pants. He may or may not want to slam the door in his face and stomp to the weary double bed, curl up and frown until he has to get up and out of bed to get ready and repeat today all over again. Harry finally looks up from his ~~adorable~~ annoying pigeon feet and meets Louis' eyes.

"Um, do you need anything?"

'Way to be rude', Louis thinks to himself while trying his best to not huff out in frustration again, because that's getting quite annoying if you ask him. What else was he supposed to do besides shrivel away from Harry's pinning gaze.

"I need to know if you're okay. If you're tired, then there's a reason for missing out on sleep, you know, and I could like, help you if you want."

Harry's too sweet, really. Someone needs to get him away from this gross society and take care of him by giving him kisses, ~~blowjobs~~ and tucking him in a bed with warm comfy blankets and numerous fluffy pillows. The problem with that would be trying to stop Harry from returning the favour. Harry would probably serve homemade sugary cupcakes that rot your teeth off even more than the real sweetness Harry is. Unfortunately, Louis' culinary skills are limited to chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in Parma ham with a side of homemade mashed potatoes. He figures it could work since Harry loved it the first time, even though he's the one who made most of it. Besides Louis could make burnt toast with eggs that have more shell than yolk and Harry would eat every bite and tell him it tastes wonderful.

“Is it the whole thing with _The Independent_?” Harry asks, his face lifting into an inquisitive expression. In which Louis thinks, thank _god_.  It’s the perfect excuse, but then again it could bring out the real reason. There’re so many risks that come along with this, Louis nods anyways. “Do you wanna talk about it? You’re one of my best mates, Lou, and we’re part of this band together. If one’s out of place, we all are eh?” Harry adds with a comforting smile in response to the genuine silence coming from Louis’ part.

“I really don’t think there’s much to say about that. It’s just another article on that subject. It is what it is.” Louis fights back. Too much could go wrong if he takes him up on the offer to talk about it.

“Sure there’s a lot to talk about. We can talk about how that article didn’t say a think about your sexual preferences and how it actually states how you might be showing support towards Tim Cook.”

Oh shit. What did he do? Louis’ about to slam the door shut right in Harry’s face and his deep defensive tone. He tweeted that girl that the idea of him supporting a gay CEO to be _laughable_ and _rubbish_. At least he’s sure to have sounded more heterosexual than ever, even if it was done in the completely wrong way.

“Oh god! I didn’t know! I didn’t even read the article I just thought it’d be another one of those articles saying that both of us are gay and sleeping with each other.”

Louis explains his point of view to Harry who looks a lot less sweet than he did hardly a minute ago. Maybe his plan was to be angry at him the whole long. Maybe he got out of his own hotel room and trotted down to Louis’ just to yell at him about how much of a disgusting asshole he is.

“Because you are in fact straight and even just the thought of being with the same gender is enough to push you to tweet that?”

Harry’s voice sounds calmer now. Finally someone understands what he was trying to do. The secret behind the whole idea isn’t that he wants to be homophobic. It’s all Harry’s fault anyways, if he hadn’t walked into his stupid cute face nearly half a decade ago he wouldn’t be standing at his hotel door being angry at him. The fact that the more they knew each other didn’t really help much, since Harry grew increasingly _friendlier_ towards him.  Every time, Louis had this tight warm feeling in his chest and butterflies in his stomach. He failed to realize that until rumours came about that they were together. His family’s reaction had been a little negative and he vowed himself to stop whatever it was the media and fans were going on about. All to say the events that follow led him to bury everything (but his cock) into Eleanor. They told everyone they were a couple, but really she was just a friend who wanted to help out in getting rid of rumours he didn’t want to see. The boys can see through it now.

 “And have you ever been with a man?”

That vow was pretty fucking useless. Look where it led him. Louis’ not enjoying Harry’s probing into his personal life. There’s nothing to spill but he’s really not in the mood to have this conversation now, tomorrow or forever onwards. He should tell him it’s none of his business and finish this goddamn talk right there. Everyone else sharing their floor would be just as happy. They’re probably awakening them all what with Harry’s elevated indoor voice. But today really is a strange day and ask anyone, Louis’ never been one to do what he’s told, even if he’s the one telling himself.

“No.”

“Don’t knock it till you try it.” Harry says. Its sounds familiar, it’s what he told Niall when they were talking about him sleeping with another man. Now though, they’re talking about Louis getting up close and personal with another dick.

“But I don’t want–“

He’s cut off short in the middle of protesting when Harry steps even further into Louis’ personal space and wraps his left arm around his waist while his right hand grabs around his neck, thumb hooking beneath his chin to tilt his head up and slot his top lip right between Louis’, who’re parted to let out a surprised gasp. In the process, Louis’ right hand leaves its position from the doorknob and rises to his side, mirroring his left arm’s actions. He was meant to push Harry off, but instead his hands are twitching in place. When Harry’s lips settled on his, the last word of his sentence was about to leave his mouth. He blames the oddly moan-like sounding noise he makes on that.

Louis looks at Harry’s closed eyelids before the initial shock passes. The same sharp good feeling he felt in the hallway returns. Except this time, it doesn’t strike through his body and leave. He feels it all over and it doesn’t feel like it’s going to leave soon. The feeling itself is hard to describe. It’s like being cold all over like when you walk outside alone on a windy winter night. There’s sparks of numbness that tingles on your flesh until that numbness turns into intense heat. The rest of your skin follows after that, heat washing over you. The cycle repeats itself and as for the butterflies inside your stomach, they’re amplified by way too many times to count. If you thought the nauseas feel you had when your crush spoke to you, boy it couldn’t even compare to the moment everything crashed into one another.

His hands want to push Harry away from him so hard that he stumbles through the door and back into the hall. The problem is that he wants to use his hands to tug on Harry’s hair more. He doesn’t want to desire that. He doesn’t want to be enjoying this right now and want to kiss him back and experience the most relieving kiss he’s ever had. There’s so much he’d be able to put in it that he’s never put in another kiss ever before. He’s too scared to kiss back anyways, because then afterwards he’s going to have a lot of problems with himself, the whole denial thing going on ~~and in his pants~~.

Harry’s hand trails down from Louis’ face as those pretty, warm, pink and plump lips ease their pressure off of his own. Harry’s hand reaches the top of Louis’ chest and it just rests there. His lips, on the other hand, lift off of Louis’, teeth holding onto his bottom lip just a little bit longer. Louis thinks it’s finally over and he can go back to sulking alone in his dark hotel room. But he thought wrong. Harry simply uses the distance to dart his tongue out and slide it right past Louis’ lips. Harry’s lips go back to their place on Louis’ lips and he closes his mouth around them, moving his tongue along the side of Louis’ tongue slowly.

Louis’ frozen into place, his nerves are about to give out entirely because _holy shit Harry’s tongue is licking everywhere inside his mouth_ and it feels pretty damn amazing. It’s warm, messy and desired by both of them. Louis would never admit it thought.

Harry doesn’t know how long this is going to take if Louis continues his non-responding streak. His hands start moving along Louis’ body. Up his back, down his arms, curving around his shoulders and toying around with the ends of Louis’ hair ever so often. It’s not going to be long before Louis can’t take it anymore. It all escalates downhill when Harry’s hands drift down till his large hands curve over Louis’ bum and he spans them out so they widen to the size of Louis’ cheeks. He squeezes them both while pulling Louis closer so their bodies finally press all along one another’s. Harry uses the grab he has on Louis to roll up his hips painfully slow and that’s when Louis feels it. It’s not quite there yet but it’s getting there quickly. Harry repeats the actions this time groaning into Louis’ mouth. That’s when Louis loses it.

Louis’ arms shoot behind Harry and he grabs onto his shoulder blades. His head tilts over to the right and he parts his lips more so Harry can fuck his tongue between them easier, which doesn’t take him long to do. Louis feels a warm tongue stabbing through his lips repeatedly and hitting his teeth. Harry and Louis’ heads both tilt more to the right to fall into a more comfortable making out stance. As if sensing Louis’ opened eyes, Harry opens up his own again and looks right at Louis’ in the close distance between them. At that moment, Harry’s tongue wedges in between Louis’ teeth that lift out of his way just a little. Louis breathing has developed into this weird mixture of deeply inhaling of Harry’s expensive perfumes and exhaling quiet moans he’s trying to conceal with Harry’s tongue. Every time he exhales, his eyelids fail him and they try to close, but he’s trying so hard to keep them open. He’d never live it down if Harry could embarrass him with this moment. He can’t help getting just a little aroused at Harry’s smell. It always was one of his favourite things about the boy.

Forgetting his hands are parked on Louis’ arse, Harry brings them back into play. His hands slowly skims up Louis’ back as he focuses more on how he’s kissing him. He spends a little time just at the entrance of Louis’ mouth, kitten licking the inside of his lips and his teeth. Louis’ more eager than he thought. He’s starting to dig his short, blunt nails in his shoulder blades and subtly sucking on his tongue. Harry grabs onto Louis’ hips and pulls him back until his hands slide down his shoulder blades and their lips disconnect. “You sure seem eager for someone who’s straight, don’t you?” Harry asks, taking his bottom lip between his teeth while staring at Louis’. He makes a painfully obvious show of trailing his eyesight back up to Louis’ eyes.

Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. The fact this is the first time Louis actually feels anything like this is the best thing about this whole experience. He’s never allowed himself to be any close with a guy before because he was too scared. But now, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to let go of the impulse created by being _real_ close to another guy, to Harry. All your nerves leave their rightful spaces in your body and temporarily settle where the foreign body’s in contact with his. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, _wow, this feels incredible_.

Harry takes his time moving forward with Louis a few steps so the swung open door is behind them. Harry reaches with his left leg in attempt to kick the door shut. After only a little bit of struggling and a weak kick, the door closes smoothly.

Harry’s head cocks forward, looking at Louis from the top of his eyes. The new angle allows Louis to better be able to see the swollen pink lips on Harry’s face stretch into a small smirk. Louis’ lost count of how many times his eyes have changed since the moment he’s opened the door. He went from sweet, to angry, back to sweet and whatever phase he’s at now. His innocent smirk grows into a dirty one as he grips onto Louis even harder and turns him around pressing him against the wall roughly.

Harry drops his massive hands down to grope Louis’ thighs and flies him up the wall. Harry takes advantage of Louis’ caught off guard expression to shove his tongue back into his mouth, deeper than before. The new position makes for both boys to be able to feel one another’s crotches pressed against each others. Harry feels Louis’ thick dick pressing into his and can’t resist rolling his body into Louis’, further pressing him against the surface of the wall. Louis ropes his arms around Harry’s shoulders to avoid falling. Not only would it ruin the mood, but falling on his arse would ruin it too. But to be honest, looks like his ass is going to be ruined anyways, wrecked even.

Louis tries to not moan too much. He hasn’t even said a word since he tried to deny wanting to try things with boys, which he was so rudely interrupted while doing so. Harry brings up a hand to gently rest on his cheek and pushes his forehead to press onto Louis’, lips retracting from one another. Harry looks down at their noses catching his breath before looking up.

“Is this okay for you?” He whispers. His expression schools to a concerned one, hoping he didn’t cause Louis any sort of trauma.

“I think so, yeah,” Louis tells him shyly. It’s his turn to take in a breath. He’s done trying to push away the thoughts that make him feel so many fantastic things, make him feel so alive. He’d maybe have liked this moment to have been stretched out over a longer period of time instead of all at once; it’s a lot to take in. He figures he’ll ask Harry to take it slow once he’s calmed down and crept all the way out of the shell he’s kept himself in for so long. He’s almost out.

“You think so?” Harry trails off. “Lou I have to be sure. I can’t do anything you aren’t agreeing to.”

“If I tell you I don’t exactly want to say what I want because I’m embarrassed, do you get what I’m saying?”

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Harry kisses onto his lips, to reassure Louis, totally not for any other reason. “Do you want a safe word? How about ice cream?”

“Oh god no,” Louis knocks his head on the wall behind him and laughs, “I’ll never be able to look at ice cream the same way, thanks you very much Haz,” Louis smiles.

Harry gives a gently breathy laugh, dimples caving in as cute as always. He does that thing again where he looks down at his lips. It’s not a new thing, Harry’s always done it. Louis always chose to ignore it and pinned it with an illogical explanation and got it out of his head. But now, Louis allows himself to be endeared by the gesture. Louis’ arms bracket up behind Harry’s head to push it forward so Louis can kiss him. It’s the first kiss they share tonight that was brought on by Louis. They both smile into the kiss, as if they were life-long lovers, dating for what seems like their whole lives, it is _such_ a cliché.

“I think my boner went from a horny to intimate,” Harry admits after they settle back into the previous position their heads were in before.

“That is definitely something I’d have expected to hear from you at a moment like this. But don’t you get that kind of boners, like, affectionate?”

“Yeah,” Harry softly says. Louis stays quiet for a minute trying to grasp what Harry’s thrown onto the table. The heat from Harry’s cheeks is warming Louis’ sweetly.

“But sadly, we can’t let things like that happen right now,” Louis squeezed his arms around Harry’s shoulders tighter to get a better leverage for when he rubs his pelvic down against Harry’s. Harry whines. Success.

“But wait,” Harry pants as the pad of his thumb presses into the skin over Louis’ cheekbone, “what if there are other things I need to do to feed my intimate boner?”

“Well you’ll just have to wait till next time.”

Oops. There it is. He said it.

Harry’s eyelids dig into their creases, revealing more of his eyes as they widen. “Okay. That’s alright, perfect.”

That’s the end of that. Harry takes his hand away from Louis’ face bringing it back to wrap around his thigh. Holding someone against a wall for long periods of time isn’t always a walk in the park. He readjusts Louis on the wall by pushing him up more, creating friction between them. Harry starts pressing into him. Louis buries his head into Harry’s neck. His face is so red. It feels so good to finally allow himself to enjoy something he wants. He looks over Harry’s shoulder and focuses on the side of the television and thinks about how much more intimate this is than it should be.

Louis’ neck is right in front of Harry’s mouth. It’s kind of impossible not to dive in and plant kisses everywhere he can. Harry spots the edge of Louis’ collarbone and immediately starts to suck on it. You can say it’s been a dream of his, for his mouth to become well acquainted with Louis’ collarbones. This is a start.

At that, Louis’ eyes close, forgetting the TV he was focusing on to keep his cool. He moans closed mouthed, into Harry’s shoulder that is still covered with that fancy expensive shirts of his. Why does he still have that on? That’s outrageous in Louis’ mind. He leans back against the wall, Harry’s head following and pleased that he has more of Louis’ collarbones to latch onto, and grinds down back against Harry. He’s not going to make him do all the work. Harry grunts which makes the skin he’s sucking on tingle.

Louis places his hands on Harry’s chest before drifting them down to the first of the 3 buttons done up on the blouse. Harry leans his torso away from Louis’ body, much to both boys’ displeasure, for Louis to unbutton his shirt easier. Once that’s done, Louis takes a moment to roam his hands around Harry’s body. Harry sighs and stills his movements. “Remember when you used to pinch my stomach all the time back during the XFactor?”

“I do. It’s not the same. You’re all fit now I can’t even pinch it anymore.” Louis tries and fails to grasp an inch of skin of Harry’s between his thumb and index finger to prove his point.

“You’re really not helping this intimate boner to go away. And that might be because I’m currently using every muscle in my body to hold you up against the wall.”

“Oh, sorry. Do you need a break? I need to take off my pants somehow anyways,” Louis trails off and keeps his head down because he suspects he’s blushing. It’s quite useless since he’s pretty sure his face has been red since they started.

“Yeah okay that works.”

Harry slowly places Louis back to his feet. Louis’ hands stop at Harry’s belt and he looks up at him to verify everything alright. Harry grips Louis’ hips saying it’s okay to go on. Louis gets back to his mission, slowly removing Harry’s belt and dropping it beside them. He passes the button through the jeaned loop and takes a deep breath, molding back into the wall and holding the jean button in one hand and the loop in the other.

“It’s alright Louis, take your time. I’m going to take mine too,” Harry whispers into his hair placing a gentle kiss there.

Louis’ relieved like never before. Thank God he doesn’t have to tell Harry to take it slow he doesn’t think he could survive that embarrassment.

Harry’s giving him so much confidence, and he’s using all that confidence into doing things to Harry like taking his pants off. He lets go of the jean button and his hand shakes its way to pull down the golden zipper. The tug he has on the jean loop in his other hand helps make the unzipping less complicated than it could’ve been. Louis quickly pushes the jeans down and lets Harry take over once the jeans get around his ankles. Louis grabs Harry’s hands off his waist and makes a quick move to slide Harry’s vest off the frame of his body, to show he’s not rejecting him.

Harry’s standing with only a tight pair of black boxers and socks. Louis stares just a little bit and a strange heat starts from his chest and drops to his groin. It takes slim boxers to fit into slim jeans.

Harry reaches out to place his hands back on Louis’ hips, this time beneath the hem of Louis’ old pajama t-shirt. “Can I?”

“I’d wonder why you couldn’t at this point seeing I already took off nearly all of your clothes, save for the socks and boxers.”

Harry leans over and glides his hands further up the sides of Louis’ body and whispers in his ear, “Warm feet lead to better orgasms.” Harry sucks a final love bite beneath Louis’ ear when Louis gasps at the forwardness. Then Harry’s hands hit Louis’ armpits and Louis lifts his arms to remove the shirt. Harry drops the shirt next to them, where the belt is. Harry tucks his fingers under the hem of Louis’ Spiderman pajama pants and he feels around, detecting that Louis isn’t wearing anything below.

“Do you want to do this against the wall or in the bed?” Harry asks.

“Can we go for the bed? I’d like to have something other than a sore back to remind me of this tomorrow morning.” So much for not having a single part of his body make direct contact with the cheap hotel bed sheets.

Harry smiles fondly at him and shoves his hands towards the dip in Louis’ lower back with his fingers still itching to get further down Louis’ pants. He starts walking backwards pulling Louis flushed against his hips and torso. The softness of the duvet lying on the bed brushes against the back of his knees indicates they’ve reached the bed. Harry sits on the edge and positions Louis so he falls on his back.

“This is going to be easier if you lie on your back,” Harry says placing him in the centre of the bed. “Unless you wanted to, um top?” Harry retreats.

“No, I want to bottom. I’ve always been curious about how it felt,” Louis confesses, bringing up a hand to bite onto his thumb to cover his restlessness.

Harry nods once and continues the job of removing Louis’ pants. The hem of the soft pants get caught on the head of Louis’ cock which makes his head fall more firmly into the pillows as his body bulges from the deep inhale he took by surprise. He relaxes once the coldness of his uncovered crotch hits him.

Harry hands keep comfortingly dragging the pants down Louis’ wonderful, beautiful, amazing, lovely, splendid, perfect thighs fighting the urge to spend the rest of the night kissing and sucking on them. When he said he had dreamt of sucking Louis’ collarbones for ages, he really meant his thighs too, and the rest of his body. His stare is stuck on Louis’ cock, hard and a nice dark pink colour. He mentally slaps himself right across the face twenty times because he can’t stop thinking about how cute it is, resting there on his lower stomach. He’d give him a nice thorough blowjob, but he decides against it, better take only one thing at a time and if he remembers corrected Louis has stated he had wanted to know what being a bottom feels like.

Once the pants are finally off and moved out of the way, Harry goes back to Louis’ ankles and tugs up the socks he has on his feet. “We’ll keep these on,” Harry smiles up at Louis and he smiles back, taking his hand away from his mouth and pushes Harry’s head playfully.

“I’m guessing you don’t have anything useful for you know,” Harry implies.

“I have four year old condoms that I rather not use,” Louis tells him truthfully.

“Do you think we need to use any condom?”

“No, I’m good I promise.”

“Me too.”

Harry takes 2 of his long and thick fingers and drags them up from Louis’ navel to tap against his bottom lip, telling him to open up his mouth. Once Louis complies and pants from his newly parted lips, Harry plugs the airway with his fingers causing Louis to lose his breath for a second. Louis’ lips hesitantly tighten around his fingers but don’t suck yet.

Harry takes his time feeling around Louis warm mouth. The back of his teeth and the ridges of Louis’ tongue felt great on his own tongue, Harry figured it can’t be that different with fingers. Harry scissors his fingers so one finger is on either side of Louis’ tongue which bulged up at the pressure applied. After spending a few seconds rubbing along Louis’ tongue, loving the way the tiny buds feel on his sensitive underside of his digits, he joins his two fingers side by side to form a shaft. He carefully pushes his fingers a little deeper, up until the two rings on his index and middle finger make contact with Louis’ puckered lips. Harry pokes around the top and sides of Louis mouth and then all the way to the back at the entrance of his throat to check his gag reflex. When there’s no vomit, he slides the tip of his two saliva coated fingers into Louis’ throat, slightly deepthroating him. The rings are pushing more and more against Louis’ lips.

Meanwhile Harry just watches, fascinated by the way Louis just takes his fingers down his throat and is simply just holding Harry’s fingers into his mouth by clamping his lips down onto them. Louis looks at Harry like he’s eager to get the rings into his mouth, too. He’s sick of waiting for that moment to come, so he loosens his lips from around Harry’s fingers and sucks him in till the rings have disappeared and Harry’s fingers reach that little bit further into Louis’ throat.

Harry pulls his fingers out of Louis’ mouth and says, “Right, I think that’s going to do it.” And the anticipated yet dreaded part is on the verge of happening. Louis’ insanely nervous about having something up his arse and very excited. What if it’s an uncomfortable feeling and he wants to stop?

“Louis? Lou, are you ready?” Harry asks with his face right over Louis’ again as Louis forgets about all the questions he’d been asking himself. Harry kisses him, not being able to resist the darkened lips from sucking onto his fingers.

“Go ahead, I’m ready,” Louis breathes and closes his eyes when he feels the heat of Harry’s hand move downwards. One of his legs is being bent at the knee with Harry’s dry hand and is pushed more to the side and the other receives the same treatment. Harry positions his fingers in place and leans back up to kiss Louis to distract him as he slides in the forefinger of his pointer finger. When he doesn’t get anything more than a surprised gasp from Louis, he presses in more. Before either of them knows it, Harry’s got his whole index finger inside of Louis.

“Tell me when you want me to move,” Harry says and then going back to kiss Louis making sure his finger doesn’t shift inside Louis too soon. After just a touch of the lips, Louis is telling Harry to continue. Harry slowly pulls out and pushes back in cautiously. “Tell me how it feels.”

“It’s something new, it’s not entirely repulsing yet but doesn’t exactly feel like something I’d enjoy doing again.”

Harry continues to finger Louis with only his pointer finger for too long. He’s picked up speed and Louis told him he’s starting to get a better feel. On an outward thrust, Harry uncurls his middle finger to stick beside the index finger and pushes back in. Louis hitches at that and Harry immediately stops.

“No, no it’s good, keep going,” Louis assures him. So Harry does. Louis starts breathing heavier and wraps his arms around Harry’s neck much like against the wall earlier. Harry doesn’t expect him to push against his fingers. Harry adds another one and Louis whines loudly. Harry deeply neglected cock that is still in his tight boxers gives a twitch at that. He lifts his left knee to go over Louis’ leg so he’s straddling Louis’ elevated thigh. He arches his back so his crotch presses against Louis’ thighs. Harry pushes in his 3 fingers into Louis’ warm and tight hole and begins grinding on Louis’ thighs and adds on to Louis’ whines with his own.

He avoids pressing into Louis’ prostate, not wanting to overwhelm him. But then again pressing his prostate when he’s fucking into him isn’t much better. Oh well he’s not really patient like he usually is at the moment, nor is he thinking wisely.

“Do you think you’re ready?” Harry asks, just to be sure.

“Fuck, Harry I don’t know. But if what I feel you grinding on my thigh is a hint, than I’m probably not,” Louis breaths out.

“How about mentally, are you mentally ready?”

“Yes, for sure this time.”

Harry pulls out his fingers and sits back on his knees and gets off the bed to take off his boxers. He jumps back in between Louis’ legs, taking them both underneath the knees and lifts them off the bed. Louis glances down and sees Harry’s dick swinging slightly and swallows tightly. He can’t stop thinking about how much it’s going to hurt and he’s getting worried he won’t be able to get out of bed tomorrow. Harry’s spitting into his hand a few times and hissing when he wraps that hand around his dick and strokes. Louis watches the precum spill out of the tip and it’s suddenly dawning on him there’s another dick in front of him and it’s very hard. It’s also going to go inside of him.

Louis looks from Harry’s dick to Harry’s content expression from wetly stroking himself. The nervous feeling takes over him again and he’s not so sure anymore. Harry hears the sudden increased speed of Louis’ breathing and looks up confused. When he sees Louis looks a little terrified his face falls into a calm smile and he takes his hand off himself. He puts both hands on either side of Louis’ head and ignores how the head of his cock taps on Louis’ abdomen.

“You can tell me to stop any time Louis, I told you—“

“Go on, your fingers felt really, really good. I can take this I’ll tell you if I can’t. I’ll scream ‘ice cream’ as loud as I can. But I don’t think ‘ice cream’ is what I’ll be screaming,” Louis interrupts him and bites his bottom lip.

Harry opens his mouth and closes it. He wasn’t even going to say anything, it just happened. It’s what happens when a really cute guy flirts dirty with you when he’s laying naked and ready for you.

Harry sneaks a hand down Louis’ body and grabs onto the thick girth of his cock and strokes upwards again until his hand is holding onto his cock as a whole and nudges the head against Louis’ loosened hole. The last thing Harry tells Louis before pushing in is for him to relax and enjoy.

Louis closes his eyes and this is such a big deal for him, the first push inside. He feels his rim close around the head of Harry’s wet cock and so far it’s nothing more than the 3 fingers he had inside him hardly 5 minutes ago. Louis feels the bed dip next to his head again, probably Harry’s hand. The stretch of Harry’s body made his cock pop in deeper into Louis. The stretch is so good, it shouldn’t be. He mentally thanks Harry for fingering him for so long and so well. Louis wraps his legs around Harry’s waist and pulls him in having given up on words.  Harry takes the message and pushes in the rest of the way and halts.

Louis’ eyes shoot open as he gasps when he feels lips against his own out of nowhere.

“Y-you can move,” Louis stutters.

Harry starts moving his hips in and out of Louis. He asks Louis, “Are you aware of what a prostate’s role is in this?”

“Uh, didn’t know it had one,” Louis moans at the stretch of Harry’s cock rubbing almost every spot inside of him.

“Well, you know what g-spots are? Basically that, but for guys,” Harry grunts out on an oddly harder thrust. “It feels a little like—“

Harry cuts himself off and tilts downwards so his cock jabs upwards and thrusts back into Louis. On the second thrust at the new angle, Louis’ jaw drops and he releases a drawn out moan confused with how good that just felt. His body rises and flops back on the bed feeling like jello.

“Wha-what was that?” Louis asks all weak from the immense pleasure.

Harry doesn’t bother with a reply. He plants his knees more firmly into the mattress and drops from his hands to his elbows without moving his hips. He halfway pulls out of Louis and pushes slowly back into him hitting his prostate again. Harry keeps a close eye on Louis who reacts the exact same the second time around. Everything seems positive, so Harry settles back into a sweet rhythm always checking making sure not to give Louis too much.

Louis has no idea what is coming out of his mouth right now. He hears Harry tell him to keep making those sounds as he keeps hitting that spot inside of him. He may already be getting stimulated, but thinking about his prostate being pounded while it’s being pounded somehow makes heat rush around his body and collect in his abdomen in doubles. His arms are lying limply beside him and he’s not sure he can still feel them, same with his legs. It’s a good thing Harry’s manhandling him the way he needs to because Louis doesn’t think he’d be able to cope with taking order, never mind moving.

Harry grunts and whines every time he pulls out to push back in. His face is hovering above Louis’ but his gaze isn’t focused on his face. Louis is focusing on him though. His eyes droop and struggle to keep open, like he’s fighting off falling asleep. Harry’s hair is swaying and hitting the top of his shoulders every thrust in and Louis would sort of like to grab onto it to keep it out of the way and feed the fantasy he had in the hall waiting in line for the bathroom earlier today. It’s close to ticking the underside of his jaw. It’d be great if he could actually move his arms. Harry’s lips are so pinkpinkpink and he bites onto the bottom one every once in a while to produce deeper groans than one would think Harry could produce. Nevertheless, it’s just making his lips more swollen and dark pink, more kissable. He likes kissing him.

Harry’s face is blurred in his vision from either tears or semi-consciousness, he’s not sure anymore but he’s betting on both. Subspace is creeping on Louis as is his orgasm. It gets numb at the bottom of his stomach as he’s trying to push it out, he can’t keep it inside him anymore. Harry reaches down and grabs onto his madly stiff dick that was previously being sandwiched. Bless him. His back twists and arches on its own accord and his head feels more like fluff than matter. He faintly registers Harry looking into his eyes and realizing where Louis’ about to go. Since Louis gave Harry no other signs of being close, he takes this as one.

Harry concentrates his overworked muscles on pushing Louis into subspace. He quickens his hand strokes and thrusts, making harder jabs. He toys with the head of Louis’ dick and grinds his hips into circles when he’s pushed balls-deep in Louis’ ass. And that’s when Louis stops breathing altogether.

Louis feels warm spots form on his torso and thinks he may or may not be coming. He stops feeling everything after that moment and lies still and more quiet than anyone who knows Louis Tomlinson would ever think.

Harry pulls out of Louis not wanting to come in Louis’ arse and have him dribbling uncomfortably. He stands up straight on his knees and crawls so he’s more over Louis’ body. He grabs his damp cock in one hand and jerks himself off fast and contributes to the white pool of cum already on Louis, who’s still floating away from Harry as if he were a balloon and all Harry has to do is reach out and grab the string attached and tug him back down.

While he waits for Louis to come back, he figures he might as well occupy himself. He lands back on his hands setting his arse in the air. He bends down and sticks his tongue out and starts licking up cum on Louis’ stomach. Just as he licks up the last bit of cum, Louis’ head lulls to the side and he moves his arms a little and makes a weak sound. Harry crawls back up Louis’ body and holds his face in his hands and quickly gives him a kiss and starts apologizing for giving him too much and sending him off to such a place when he probably wasn’t ready for it and all these excuses. Louis interrupts Harry with a kiss, just like Harry did to him at the beginning of this whole journey.

“I’m okay Harry,” Louis slowly tells him.

Harry sighs happily knowing Louis didn’t hold anything against him. Harry then sighs again, but sadly. Now that this is all over he’ll have to get up and awkwardly dress himself back up to waddle back to his room. He gives Louis another kiss and savours it since he wouldn’t be surprised if he never gets to feel Louis’ gentle lips on his again. Harry goes to jump off the bed but Louis grabs onto his bicep.

“Stay.”

Harry can’t believe it. He’s never been so relieved. It would totally ruin the whole evening if he had to stand up with soreness in his pelvis as he dressed himself back up. He didn’t want to subtly look back at Louis still naked and sprawled out on the bed as he did so. He didn’t want to close the door behind him and hear the heavy click meaning he can’t just open the door again and walk back in. He didn’t want to walk in the hallway full of bright lights in contrast to the darkness in Louis’ room. Lastly, he didn’t want to step in his significantly colder room and flop on his bed to wake up alone tomorrow morning feeling the hot pain in his muscles from yesterday’s activities.

Harry gratefully crawls the other way in the empty spot on the other side of the bed and collapses there instead of his cold, dull bed waiting for him in his hotel room. Well his bed can wait all it wants; he’s not going to come back to it.

Louis turns so he’s more or less facing Harry before he speaks again. Just as slow as the last time he spoke.

“You know when I told you I didn’t want a sore back to be what reminded me of this night tomorrow morning?”

Harry nods, his cheek rubbing against the fluffy silk pillow and places an arm around Louis’ middle pulling himself closer to Louis.

“I want the feel of my arms around you and yours around me to be what reminds me of this. I want it to happen the moment I wake up and have it be the first thing I register in my mind.”

“Are you sure you’re not still in subspace Lou? If you’re always this much of a sap afterwards I fear I may have some competition. Or maybe it’s just the subspace.”

“Whichever it is, enjoy it while it lasts Styles. I’m never this sweet.”

Harry giggles turning his face more into the softness of the pillow. When his laughter fades out, he asks, “One last thing. Why do you own 4 year old condoms?”

“Oh god,” Louis starts and turns his face into the pillow, syncing their movements. “This is going to be extremely cheesy and sound really fake but I was always attracted to you, in the back of my mind. Four years ago when rumours about us starting going around, I realized that the reason why things fell out between me and Hannah was because I was more into you than her, in every way. So I got mad, went out and got some condoms figuring I’d go and find a girl. The box has yet to be opened.”

“No way, you’re lying!” Harry laughs again at the comical story and eliminates more of the space between him and Louis.

“I know, I know,” Louis shakes his head at himself.

“So, you tried it, do you knock it?” Harry asks after a moment of silence.

“Definitely not,” Louis says. “That also answers the ‘Am I straight?’ question. And about the socks, I think I’m feeling it.”

They laugh together again for the thousandth time, like there’s nothing else they’re meant to be doing. They ignore all the waddling they’ll have to do all day tomorrow as they go through day 2 of their promo. Anyways, Harry loves the pain and Louis needs his reminder to last at least a day. They cuddle closer to each other in a position that looks awkward to an outsider, but they’re comfortable. Harry’s wants to enjoy every second of Louis, sweet or not. He just hopes he can. He thinks he’ll be able to, if how Louis hinting at a next time and the story behind the condoms mean anything. For now, they mumble their goodnights, share another kiss and just let every part of their bodies shut down, besides their hearts.

**Author's Note:**

> people usually put their twitters and tumblrs here so
> 
> twitter: @twinkylou  
> tumblr: stylinstripper.tumblr.com


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